Growing Like a Weed!

Gage is growing like crazy. He is only 2 1/2 months and he already grabs for anything within reach and yesterday he started really laughing. This week I took Gage in to the doctor (again) because he is sick with his first cold. He is now 14 lbs 9 oz. I can't believe he is so big! Here are a few pics of the bigger Gage.

I took this picture shortly before Gage rolled off the couch. I'm still not sure how he did it.

Playing with Oma and Opa.
Our little Monkey. Gage likes to sit on our arms and hold on, it looks just like a monkey sometimes.
Trav loves this picture. Gage pulled his shirt up himself.

Here's a video taken today. Gage laughs a little. It's hard to get him to do it on cue.

Better!

Hi Everyone who reads my sad sorry little blog. Things are better since I last wrote. My mom talked to a lady at a local herb shop who tried this herb tea poultice concoction that cured mastitis in her daughter. Yesterday, my mom helped me do it all day and it seems to have worked. As far as I can tell, I don't have mastitis right now. Hallelujah! So for now I'm not quitting the nursing. But if it does come back...I'll probably have to.

P.S. If anyone has masitits or plugged ducts or knows someone struggling with it. Let me know because I'm becoming quite the expert on different things to try.

Sorrow

I need to talk a little just to help get my sorrows out in the open. Sorry, no pictures this time. Being a mom is hard. Harder than I thought. But way more rewarding than I could have imagined. I never thought I'd worry so much, even about the little things that don't matter at all. I cry a lot. It makes me crazy because I hate crying. I hate feeling so emotional.

You may be wondering why all of the sudden I'm so messed up. No, I don't have post-pardum. Though I am being closely monitored. No, my son doesn't have any problems, he is a happy, healthy, chubby little boy who is developing way to fast. Here is my sorrow:

A week and a half after sweet Gage was born, I felt sick. I was achy, feverish, and nauseated. It was a Sunday and we went to the urgent care near our house. I had mastitis. I was prescribed a pain med and an antibiotic. I thought I would get better. A few days later I felt bad again. My mom came over and we worked for two hours to get my plugged milk ducts out. I thought I was better. That night I got much, much worse so I went in to the doctor again. He prescribed an even stronger antibiotic (augmentin, not fun stuff).

The augmentin helped me, I think. In the mean time my son got diahrrea and a yeast infection from the antibiotic I was on. He had it for three weeks or more. Three weeks of worrying that it is my fault my son is sick. A week and half after I was off the antibiotic. I started getting plugged milk ducts every other night. It would take me one to two days to finally work them out and then I'd get another. I worked hard because I knew if it stayed in too long I would get mastits again. Too late.

At my six week appointment, my doctor said I had it again. I was back on the antibiotic and told to go see a lactation specialist. The lactation consultant didn't know why I was having such a hard time with the plugged ducts but gave me a lot of good advice and help with my nursing. The next day, I woke up with plugged ducts again. I rented a hospital grade breast pump to see if that would help. It did for the most part. I only got plugged milk ducts every weekend.

At the end of my antibiotics, I started feeling crummy again. I had mastitis. Again. Back on the antibiotic. For the past five nights, I have had plugged milk ducts every morning. No matter what I do, I have them in the morning. It doesn't matter if I get up in the middle of the night to pump and clean my breast, I still get plugged.

Yesterday was my son's two month appointment. The doctor came in asked how I was and was not entirely surprised to see me crying again. He said it was time for me to stop trying to breastfeed and switch to formula completely.

I feel like I've failed. I absolutely love breastfeeding. I love being the one who has to feed my son. But now I can't do it anymore. I have to stop because I can't get rid of the mastitis. I won't be able to comfort my son the same anymore. He won't have the same healthy benefits. I had wanted to breastfeed him for atleast a year. All his cute little quirks will stop. He won't look at me the same. What if he resents me. I don't want to stop but I don't see any more options.

I cry, a lot. I wish I could keep going, but everyone says I need to take care of myself now. I feel selfish for quitting. I don't know how I'm going to get the strength to feed my son for the last time at my breast and be done. This is my sorrow.

Gage!

I'm absolutely terrible at updating my blog. Sorry everyone. Here are some pics of what we've been up to and lots of pics of my favorite little boy.

Just after his first bath.

I got Trav and Gage matching ties for Father's Day.
I love this outfit.

We went to Mirror lake with my parents and brother's family.

Trav caught two fish.

It was beautiful but cold and windy.

We went to the Tracy Aviary, Trav had never been and liked it, but I don't think Gage really cared.

We kept Gage out of the sun to protect him. He slept most of the time.

This is how he sleeps now. He always is on his side with his head WAY back.

He smiles lots now. But its hard to catch it with a picture.

He likes to cling to my shirt. He is totally a mama's boy.

Trav is really good at getting him to smile. He's even starting to giggle a little. Trav was so excited when My mom and I found the camoflauge onesie.

Here's our sweet Gage as of yesterday. We took him to the doctor because he's been a little sick and he now weighs 12 lbs. I can't believe he's so big and only 5 1/2 weeks old.

We sure love our little Gage.

What a Blessing!

As a lot of you might know, Travis and I were blessed with a little angel June 9th at 1:45 in the morning. He is sitting in my arms right now, so forgive me for any typos.

A week ago last Tuesday I went to the doctor and I was dialated to a 4 but hadn't really noticed any contactions. Around 8:45 that night I started noticing really light cramps that happened every five minutes. The doctor had told me I needed to really rush to the hospital if I had contactions for about 1/2 hour every five minutes because she thought I might go really fast and since I was 'group B positive' they needed to give me an antibiotic for atleast 4 hours before the baby came (he could possibly get an infection from me on the way out or something like that). Anyway, by ten the cramps were about two minutes apart and we decided we'd better go. On the way down to the hospital the contractions got worse and worse. I'm glad we went when we did because I was dying by the time I finally got an epidural (only 1 hour after we got to the hospital).

Sorry to all you moms out there who had really long painful labors. I feel very blessed to only have endured 1 1/2 hours of pain. The nurses were still hopeful to keep me from delivering until the antibiotic kicked in at four hours but our little baby was just too anxious to come. He was so far down that at every contaction his heart rate dropped from the pressure and we couldn't wait any longer. So at exactly 1:47 am on June 9th, 2010 little baby Gage Thomas Mason came into the world. He was 8 lbs. 8 oz. and 20 1/2 inches.

After that long and probably boring post (it was rather exciting and scary when it was all happening) here's the part you all want to see. PICTURES! Enjoy!I think he was trying to bite dad's finger.

This is how we found him napping. He is just like his daddy.This is the elephant my sister knitted for Gage. It is so cute!This picture was taken this morning. The onsie is already a 0-3 month size not newborn.

He Finished It!

I've talked to a lot of people about how talented Travis is. Well, here is the proof. Travis has finished making the crib for our little baby boy. It is beautiful. Even more beautiful in person. It is also sturdy with both sides having the option to lower.The main parts of the crib are made out of cherry wood. (Travis wanted a very specific stain so the color would be perfect). The inlaid, darker wood is called Paduk, it is from Africa. It really adds a nice accent. And it only has a natural stain on it so it is naturally that red.Isn't he handsome next to his beautiful work of art?I finally broke down and took a picture of myselft. Here is my little basketball. My brother and sister-in-law said I really look like I just stuck a ball under my shirt. That makes me feel better and not so fat. This is exactly two weeks to my due date.

Three Years!

This past Monday, May 24th, was Trav and my third anniversary. I can't believe it's been that long. I still kind of feel like we are newlyweds. Fortunately, Travis got the whole day off and we spent it together. Unfortunately, he was really sick and that is why he got the day off. He had a horrible cold/cough. Even more unfortunate, we didn't really do anything special for dinner because he couldn't taste anything. It gets better. Most unfortunately, he gave me the cold and now I'm sick too. So our anniversary wasn't spectacular but we were able to spend it together and we got some of the last minute baby needs taken care of too.

Even though our anniversary wasn't as celebrated as we've done in years past, I still want to take the opportunity to brag about my sweet hubby. I can't imagine anyone better. I'm a silly, overreacting, worried, perfectionist but Trav still loves me. He's always there to calm me down and hold me when I'm stressed. He is always the steady voice of reason. He is the hardest working person I know and yet he still comes home to take care of me on those particularly sickly pregnant days. He works two jobs to support us. He loves the gospel and is always willing to help anyone in need. I'm so grateful that he wanted to marry me. He loved me before I loved myself. If I hadn't met him over 8 years ago, I would not be the person I am today. So thank you, Travis. I love you to eternity and back!

Wow, has it been that long?

I finally got on the computer to check out family blogs and saw that I haven't posted for a very long time. Crazy how time flies. Only six more weeks until little buck joins us. I have a lot to do. Luckily, today was my very last day of work. YIPEE!!! I can finally (hopefully) get caught up on all the stuff I've put aside because I was "working". Fiddlesticks, now I don't have an excuse.

To all who read my sad, sorry little blog, I'm asking you all to pray for my best friend Nicole's little baby. She was going to be induced on Monday but her water broke last Saturday afternoon, right after the baby shower she threw for me. Anyway, the reason for the prayers is because poor little Xander is in the NICU. He apparently has pneumonia. He also has a tumor on his heart that may or may not have to be removed. All in all, he is struggling in his first few days of life and could use all the extra prayers. So please, say a little prayer for him (and his family) as you read this. Thanks.

Unfortunately, I haven't been able to see him or my friend since he was born. One of the joys of pregnancy is that I get sick all the time and am trying to get over yet another cold. So I'm avoiding them for obvious reasons.

P.S. Isn't he cute. This is Xander only about 1/2 hour old, before they realized he had problems and was hooked up to all the stuff.

Here he is all hooked up to the monitors. He is so cute!

Fun in Idaho! (long one, sorry)

This past weekend, Trav and I drove up to Boise to spend some time with our good friend Alan. Trav met him while serving a mission in Boise and he is one of the few people he's kept in touch with. We drove up Friday and came back Sunday afternoon. On our way up, we realized we had only forgotten one thing...the camera. I was so bummed because we saw a ton of really cool stuff up there.

On our way to Boise, we stopped in Twin Falls to see the temple there. They have a huge gorge with a bridge you have to cross to get to the city. It is one of the few bridges in the U.S. that doesn't have a law against base jumping off it. We got to see some people jump. It was awesome.

We also stopped at the Anderson's in Wendell. Travis became really good friends with this family. This is the family he goes goose hunting with every winter. They are such wonderful people.

Friday night we met up with Alan (we stayed with him). Luckily, he has a spare bed because after driving all day, Little Buck was not happy. I've never been so uncomfortable in my life. He kept a foot in my rib the entire trip. At dinner I didn't eat much because he was wiggling so much and made me nauseated.

Saturday, we went to the Idaho history museum. It was interesting, but I learned more about Idaho than I ever wanted to know. They did have a two-headed calf and a stuffed animal replica that you could buy in the gift shop. I wanted to get Buck one but they were $12 (ripoff). We went to the newly renovated state capitol building, so cool, everyone should see it. Then did a little shopping.

Friday night we watched New Moon, the new twilight movie. Sorry, to all you twilight lovers, but I thought it was incredibly stupid. I think I might just be getting tired of twilight. Maybe I didn't like it so much because I watched it with two guys who made fun of Edward the whole time.

(side note: did anyone notice how bad an actor Robert Pattinson (Edward) is? We had to rewind several times because he mumbled the ENTIRE movie. And if he can read people's minds he shouldn't have been beat by the Volturi in the end because he would know what they were going to do before they did it. Dumb!)

Sunday we went to Sacrament meeting with Alan then headed home. We stopped in Bountiful to pick up my grandmother and take her to my parents house for a few days. We also went to my sister's house to celebrate my Daddy's birthday. I sure love my Daddy. He is a wonderful example of a disciple of Christ. He also keeps my hubby out of trouble (for the most part) in the garage with woodworking projects. Happy Birthday Daddy!!

That's it. We're still plugging along. Hope all well with everyone.

Crazy Week!

As with all pregnancies, I've been sick this last week. I had a tiny skin infection that I went to have removed last Monday and they wouldn't take it off until I was on an antibiotic for a week. This antibiotic was the worst I've ever taken. It made me so nauseated. I haven't thrown up my entire pregnancy until last week because of that stupid pill.

But, that isn't the exciting part of the week. After I got so sick they put me on an anti-nausea medication. I don't know what happened, but after I was put on them, Little Buck stopped moving, for over 24 hours. I was totally freaked out, I tried everything. He just wasn't my little jumper anymore. The doctor told me to go to labor and delivery.

So, Wednesday night Trav and I spent the evening at the hospital checking the baby out. And wouldn't you know it, as soon as they put those monitors on my stomach, Little Buck went crazy. He hates having stuff on him. They had to keep moving the monitors because they'd lose his heartbeat because he'd move. At times I thought he was trying to literally kick the monitors off. Well, my little jumper came back. Everything was fine, they said he was perfect. At least the trip was good for our peace-of-mind.

Even though the nurse at the hospital said it wasn't the medications I was taking, I went off the anti-nausea medication and have just lived with the yucky antibiotic (only 3 more pills). But isn't it just my luck that while on an antibiotic, I get stuck with a cold too. Figures.